The first time was an occasion I wish I could forget....McDonald's. Yeah.
It was not only the first meat we had in over 9.5 months, it was also the first fast food we had eaten in several months as well. Since then, we've reconciled ourselves to Taco Bell a few times, so not too bad compared to our old habits, but let's not go there!
I learned a lesson in my experience with McDonald's. Don't let your pantry get empty and don't nurture feelings of neglect due to unhealthy attachments to food. In short, avoid trigger points.
David was cruising on the Vegan highway pretty smoothly, though he missed cheese quite a bit, so at the very least, he was totally composed regarding meat, especially fast food meat.
I, on the other hand, must have been fed McDonald's in utero, and I wouldn't doubt if it were my first food. I have so many happy memories of "happy" meals before I even turned 5. After 5, I loved getting McDonald's gift cards for Christmas so I could pay for my own lunch there. I had a slightly dysfunctional childhood in case you haven't guessed, it's also why I am struggling to carve out a path towards a life filled with the wholesome, the good and the lovely. It's not all peaches and cream, believe me, but it is joyous when we're on it.
All that rambling to make a point: When I smell McDonald's, I feel warm inside. Sick I know. So it started with me stopping by the Golden Arches 2 blocks away from our home for a coke. The smell flooded in the car and I felt a stab of neglect. I pushed it aside, got my coke from the smiling employee and went home.
A few days later, I was there at the drive through window handing over $1.09 for another large coke, and I reeeeallly wanted a fry. I knew they contained beef tallow, but with all the big issues we're dealing with right now, it seemed like such a little issue. I stood fast and got my coke from the even friendlier employee and went home.
I complained to David that I was taking life too seriously and I just wanted a darn hamburger like the normal(fat)people in the drive through line. David held his position, but a few days, I had him on my bandwagon that we were missing something amazing.
Besides, we've celebrated so many milestones with McDonald's. It's so affordable! We ate it as a midnight snack on our wedding night... we were starving and it was across the street from our room at the Sheraton in San Diego. We ate it at the beach before David left for bootcamp. We've eaten it on roadtrips cross country and on the floor of various empty homes that we've moved into and out of. It's practically in my blood!
So we caved, I drove down and ordered our old order: 4 cheeseburgers with extra pickles, a large fry and a large coke. It felt strange, and downright rebellious, but comforting. I got home 2 minutes later and we started to eat. James wouldn't touch the burger. He loved the fries though, as he used to. David and I started to eat and tried not to look at the piece of tortured cow muscle between the buns. It was kind of hard to miss because there were no pickles, hardly any condiments and it was gray and dry. Typical low wage=low quality service. We ate quietly and slowly. David didn't finish his. I was on a high of sorts, even though I was aware that the quality was so lacking and the nourishment factor was zero. Talk about shameful behaviour!
Since then, we've gotten fries and coke once (for me and James), and I've gone back for sweet tea. I'd love to say that I am not enticed by the aroma of the burgers after our experience, but I still am. I'm weaning off the soda (we don't keep it in the house for obvious reasons) but the sweet tea is just as good and just as bad for me. Bah! The will of my flesh is strong.
During this time, I have been so downtrodden and feeling confused about what to call myself, apart from a hypocrite and big fat failure, so I haven't been meal planning. Instead, I've been to the store every 3 days or so to get ingredients that sound good. My budget or lack of one, is showing on our bank statements and extra gas trips. This lifestyle is not only bad for me, for the mass produced animals, and for the environment, but it is also bad for our budget. Imagine that.
Anyways, during this time, we tried fish twice since we were able to find some cruelty free and eco friendly-sustainably caught fish at our Super Target. Jesus ate fish and they are a different species, so it's an easier on the heart, natural and healthy B-12 source.
The other meat we had (the other 2 times) was buffalo from The Buffalo Guys that we found at our local health food store, and that is something we plan to try again. It is free range meat from buffalo that live natural lives on the plains in the North West, they are only handled for medical purposes, and then for slaughter. It didn't make us feel sick, though we both felt a little bit delayed in our stomachs. Not sure what to make of it, so we will try it again. I have no guilt in buying it, apart from the animal lover side of me trying not to picture the animal, but that is my flesh in a different way. God did give us the power to choose to eat animals, though I feel that as a society, we should be moving away from them, at least from the extent that we eat them in the SAD, I don't feel that soy protein isolate is the appropriate direction for me, so we are still ethical omnivores.
At the very least, I hope that this post proves that I willingly share the good and the bad, my triumphs and my failures in my journey towards becoming a more ethical omnivore.
I thought this was an interesting article. Why Vegetarians Are Eating Meat
If you have any thoughts, encouragement or constructive criticism, please, do share, I would love to hear your opinion or any advice you have!
Here's to putting one foot in front of the other and heading back up that mountain, even if I'm taking a slightly different path. God is great, Life is good.
"Sometimes we have to fall off the wagon to realize that we badly want back on."-Me
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